KINDERGARTEN TEACHER: To get to the other side. LOUISE WOODWARD: Because it wouldn't shut up!! SHUT UP!! BARRY SCHECK: Were you there? WERE YOU?? Did you see that chicken cross that road? Well?? DID YOU??? O.J. SIMPSON: Absolutely one-hundred percent unsure. JACK NICHOLSON: 'cause it f******g wanted to. That's the f******g reason. RONALD REAGAN: I forget. RICHARD M. NIXON: The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken did NOT cross the road. HOMER SIMPSON: Mmmmmm. Chicken. JERRY SEINFELD: Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing walking around all over the place, anyway?" BILL GATES: I have just released the new Chicken Office 2001, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook. OLIVER STONE: The question is not, "Why did the chicken cross the road?" Rather, it is, "Who was crossing the road at the same time, whom we overlooked in our haste to observe the chicken crossing?" COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?
